I think 80% of the children that attend my son's nursery stay in the special needs school system when they leave. The reason I think it and that I don't know it, is that it's not something I want to know. And if somebody confirmed that it was true, I would argue that perhaps out of those 80%, half stayed in special needs only another year or two and then mainstreamed. I want my son to mainstream. For all the obvious reasons: I don't want him to struggle so much; I don't want him to feel different; I don't want the financial burden of special needs schools. Not only do I want him to mainstream; I want him to mainstream by kindergarten. At least I used to want that. I still want that, but with an asterisk. I love my son. In fact, my husband and I are so desperately in love with him that we are compelled to use every resource we have to teach him how to speak and how to make friends. And if that happens by kindergarten, fantastic. And if it happens in seventh grade, so be it. We're stuck. He has charmed us like every other 3-year-old charms his parents. When he's not driving us crazy, and even when he is, we're mostly just grateful to be in his company.

Although my son has more than his share of challenges, he also gets more support. And although my husband and I dedicate so much of our energies to his therapies, we get so much back. We get to bask in my son's progress, and we get to appreciate his therapists and their extraordinary dedication to our family: we are richer people for having known them. The truth is that our son may be autistic, but he is also perfect, with every awe-inspiring, voracious, and joyful snickerdoodle bite he takes.